I'M (technically) PREGNANT!

YAY! The implantation happened this morning...it's been over 12 hours since our two little embryos took up residence inside. It's SO freakin' cool to think that something amazing might be going on in there right now. I've been rubbing my belly all day. I hope they like their new home. I hope, I hope, I hope.....

So here's the recap of our day:

We got to the doc office around 5:30 am and had time to talk to the embryologist before the doc got there. This guy is great...calls everybody "kiddo"...not in a weird way...it's like having your dad there beside you. He's awesome. He'll talk your ear off. Love him. Anyway, he tells us that we have 2 8-cell embryos, 1 6-cell, 2 4-cells, and 1 2-cell. So obviously the best bet are the 2 8-cell embryos. But he also suggests that maybe we should implant the 6-cell embryo just to increase our chances. He gave us this big talk about "no regrets". He said he didn't want to see us have a negative preg test and think "damn, we should've done all three embryos.". So at that point, we're thinking...hmmm, 3's not bad. And truthfully, I wouldn't mind having 3 kids. But being pregnant with 3 would royally suck. So he says - talk it over, ask the doc...make your decision. So the doc gets there and he says that implanting 3 embryos is probably a good idea.

Caveat: He tells me that if all 3 take...there's NO I can carry triplets because I'm too small. In fact he says he absolutely won't let me do it. He had a patient a few years ago my size - they did 3, got preg with trips...she had them at 24 weeks - they were all blind and deaf...parents ended up divorced - it was a mess. So he says I'd have to do a "selective reduction". Basically, we'd be forced to abort one so the other two would have a chance. J and I just decided that we'd rather live with the regret of having a negative preg test than to live with the guilt of aborting a baby later on. So we decided on 2 embryos (the 8-cell beebees) The docs were totally supportive (even thought they both recommended we do 3).

The embryologist said he was going to keep an eye on the rest of the embryos to see if they continue to grow at all. More than likely the 4-cell and 2-cell embryos are just slackers and they're not going to do much. So our hope is riding on the 6-cell. If that will continue to grow for the next 2 days, they'll freeze it (Sunday is d-day for that...anything past Sunday and the embryo starts to degenerate) and we can try to use it later (it's a much lower success rate if it's frozen). It's a bit of a let-down that we only have a shot at freezing one...I was hoping to have more embryos as backups in the freezer if this round doesn't work. If not...and we want to try again...I have to go through all the injections again. Blah.

After all that was settled, we got started on the implantation. DH was allowed to be in the operating room with me the whole time...I was so glad. Going along with the theme that NOTHING seems to go easily for me in this fertility journey - the procedure was supposed to take 5-10 minutes and be painless. It took an hour and a half. And even though I was sedated (I was awake, but drugged), it hurt like a m-f-er. My uterus is tilted backwards - this isn't new and exciting news. The surprising part was how far back it's actually tilted. What they do is put a catheter in you with an internal sonogram. Well, he breaks out the first catheter...it's too short and not flexible enough to manuever all the curves of my tilted uterus. He tried several times (uncomfortable, but doable). Then he decides to try with a bigger catheter (again, uncomfortable, but with the drugs...I've still got it together)...same problem. Next biggest catheter...same prob...this one starts to hurt. Keep in mind I'm still tender as hell from the harvesting on Tuesday. Finally, he gets the absolutely biggest catheter that they make...it's sturdier and longer. He tells me if THIS one doesn't work, they're going to have to totally knock me out and do a laparscopy (where they do a small incision and go in through the belly button). Needless to say...I'm not at all excited about this. I'm watching on the ultrasound machine the whole time he's doing it....he hits the last curve right before my uterus....and it gets stuck. I see it happen (and FEEL it). So it's either shove it in...or cut me open. He shoved that sucker in. I screamed. I was drugged to high hell and I can't describe how badly that hurt. So he gets it in (this is an hour, 20 minutes+ into it, by the way). I'm crying and just said - you've got to stop and just give me a minute to get it together here. I did a couple yoga breaths. As soon as the initial pain was over, it wasn't hurting (I'm sure the drugs also had something to do with that).

So we regroup and I actually got to watch on the ultrasound machine as they injected the two beautiful embryos into MY uterus. I was crying like an idiot. It was the most amazing thing ever! The doc took an ultrasound pic about 2 seconds after they were in and gave it to us. It's a teeny bright white dot on a gray printout...it's fantastic. If I come out of this pregnant...I'm' framing it.

Oh - when we were talking to the embryologist before the procedure we asked if we could get pics of the embryos. We have pics of that too!! He took pictures of the 2 8-cell beebees. It's so cool....they're right next to each other in the pic. God, I hope they're baby's first pics. We've decided that if this works, we're going to have pics of the cells framed and give to the 'rents for Christmas and we'll tell them the (hopefully) good news.

My appointment for the preg test is on the 14th. I'll go to the lab early, get blood taken and they'll send that to the fertility clinic who will then call me.

So that's the latest. I've decided that even if it's negative I'm still just totally thankful for today. If nothing else....I was pregnant for a day. God, that's just amazing to think about. And despite the fact that the last 2 weeks have made me a little insane - after today I've decided I can definitely do IVF again. This amazing feeling I've had all day has already made it all worth it. I laid here on the couch all day rubbing my belly...just marveling at the thought that 2 embryos are in there. I'm in complete awe. It's an incredible feeling.

I'm off all the crazy mood-mind altering hormones (my last injections were Sunday). Feel like I'm starting to level out a little bit. Althought since the harvest on Tuesday I've started mass amounts of progesterone...I've read that can give you mood swings too...but so far, so good.