Just call me Schleprock

Here's how my day has gone so far today. I work from home, around 9am my internet went down. HUGE problem. I spent 20 minutes on hold with the internet company and got nowhere. At this point I'm starting to get a little frantic. I have a 9:45am deadline for a crazy client who freaks if their report is more than a few minutes late. So I decide my internet's a lost cause. I called my cousin to see if I could come over and leach off her wirless for a few hours. No problem.

I have about 30 minutes to get dressed, throw my office (laptop & cell) in the car, get to her house AND get my report done (which takes about an hour and a half). So instead of taking the time to put my laptop into its case, I just unplug it and head out the door (already, I'm sure you can see where this is going).

I pull up in front of her house and glance at the clock: I have 12 minutes to get my report out. In a blind panic, I'm grabbing my purse, keys, laptops, cell, notebooks and I'm hopping out of the car.....and my laptop hopped out of my hands. WHAM! Hits the pavement. Hard. F-U-C-K.

I stood there for a second looking at it. I don't see anything obviously broken. No shattered plastic (that I can see). Ok...maybe it's alright.

I get inside, turn it on. Phew...power lights are lighting. And then the screen pops on: it's shattered and there's already a big black oily blob spreading across the bottom of the screen. F-U-C-K.

Screw the damn client report - I now have bigger issues. The black blob is getting bigger - I ask my cousin for an empty CD so I can quickly burn all my files to it before the computer bites it. I drop the CD in. Horrific sounds emit from my machine. Error messages pop up left and right. My files can't be burned.

Somebody suggests a flash drive. I of course don't own one. But there's a Staples right down the road. I speed over to Staples - computer in hand. I run in, pick one up, stick it into my computer and begin copying my files.

I pull back out of Staples and my car starts to stutter. I am out of gas. I literally coast into the station with barely enough momentum to get to the pump. Jesus god. I fill up and head back to my cousin's house.

I get settled at her place. The black blob has stopped spreading and aside from the horrible view, my computer is working (or at least email is).

My husband is furious that I just demolished a perfectly good laptop by not putting it into a case. And I managed to slice my hand open while ripping into that stupid plastic packaging for the flash drive.

But...at least it's Friday. Right?