The grass is always browner…?

I'm getting VERY nervous by how positive all my tests are coming back. In fact the nurse who did my ultrasound this morning said that out of all the IVF-ers this cycle, I've got the most action going on. They’re estimating between 18 & 20 follicles that may contain eggs. Maybe because I'm used to it, but I think I'm more prepared to get bad news. I don't know what to do with good news yet except be terrified that I'm getting my hopes up for nothing. Stupid, I know...but getting excited just to come crashing down again is a very dangerous road for me.

I won't get the blood work results back until this afternoon - the doc will call and go over the ultrasound results as well. Based on my last tests on Monday, he lowered my med dosage. I have a feeling he's going to do that again. Some of my follicles are already over 1 centimeter. I read online that anything 1-2 cm's means they can burst, releasing the egg – waalaaa: ovulation...something we DON'T want. If I ovulate, there's no eggs to harvest...and then WHAM...my cycle gets cancelled and all this was for nothing. I'm a bit nervous that I'm so far along and my harvesting isn't until Sunday. But I am also on drugs that are supposed to suppress ovulation….hope they continue to do their job!