Dear Such and Such

You know those excuse notes you would have your parents/doctors write when you were in school?

Dear Such and Such,
My daughter has a sprained ankle, she should not participate in gym this week.
Sincerely,
Mom - or Dr. Whoever

I need one of those notes, man!

Dear Such and Such -
Please excuse K for her social inept-ness for the next two weeks. For her inability to concentrate, respond to simple questions and her miniature mental breakdowns when faced with decisions like: "Paper or plastic?", or "Would you like fries with that?", or "What would you like to drink with dinner?".
She has IVF-head this week. Expect side effects of: extreme anxiety, crying at the drop of a hat, insomnia, exhaustion, and irritation at everything.
Sincerely,
Dr. Charges Too Much